Monthly Archives: May 2015

Marriage Defined – Part IV

Being an example

Marriage is a public demonstration of Christ and the church to people who may never set foot in church. Your marriage sets an example to others. If you are cultivating and bathing your marriage in spiritual disciplines, the difference will be very clear to others. They may not understand why the difference, but they will see the difference. Your example should pave the way to explaining the “why” to those who would inquire. Your relationship should be a testimony of what Christ has done in your life, I’m not talking about perfection, I’m talking about putting forth the effort. Does your marital walk match your spiritual walk?

Marriage is designed to be an honorable endeavor.

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; nor forsake you.”  Hebrews 13:4-5

Do you set an honorable example? Do you display integrity in your relationship? Are you a man or woman of your word? We demonstrate great hypocrisy if we teach and proclaim a certain set of moral or ethical values, yet behind closed doors we do not live up to those beliefs. How much more troubling when we represent God to the world around us yet lead a double life of selfish desire. The person who acknowledges the damage pornography can have on a marriage but continues to gratify themselves on the Internet does not display godly integrity. Again we come back to the example we are setting in our marriage: an example to our children, our families, and the world.

©2014 Eric A. Disney, Marriage by Design

Ready to Reactivate Your Marriage? Click on the “About the Book” tab to learn more about Marriage by Design: The Keys to Create, Cultivate and Claim the Marriage You’ve Always Wanted

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Filed under Character, Marriage Defined

Marriage Defined – Part III

encouragement

Marriage is not exempt from suffering. Some of you may be saying to yourself, “Marital suffering, that I understand. I’ve done plenty of it!”

“The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” Romans 8:16-17

In your marriage, remember that when one of you suffers, you both suffer. Our responsibility is to be of support and encouragement to our mates. Plenty of people are willing to tear you down, but you should never be your partner’s enemy, for you are called to be a team. This is not to say that marriage does not hold times of great joy and gladness (Jeremiah 33:11). Marriage has the potential to be one of the most gratifying decisions you ever make.

How do you respond to your spouses “times of suffering”? Are you supportive? In what ways? Are you annoyed or made uncomfortable by the tears/frustrations of your spouse? Why? Men, do you rush to “fix” your mate rather than take the time to listen? What are some action steps you could take to be more attentive to your spouse’s emotional struggles?

©2014 Eric A. Disney, Marriage by Design

Ready to Reactivate Your Marriage? Click on the “About the Book” tab to learn more about Marriage by Design: The Keys to Create, Cultivate and Claim the Marriage You’ve Always Wanted

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Filed under Emotions, Marriage Defined, Trials

Marriage Defined – Part II

affection-age

Marriage is an opportunity to learn how to love another. For many, this is no small task. Depending on our background and upbringing, we may not have had love demonstrated to us. This can make it very difficult when we try to show someone the love that we never received. It becomes important to understand and accept that God loves us unconditionally. There is nothing we can do to earn it. God’s love is a free gift, no strings attached.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Can you possibly imagine sacrificing your child for the good of another? This wonderfully summarizes how much God has done for us and how much he truly loves his creation. Love is a fundamental element in growing and nurturing our relationships.

If affection is a sore spot for you because of past sexual trauma, I want to encourage you to take the steps necessary to get the healing you deserve. There are many great Christian counselors in your area who want to help you bring your BEST self into your relationship. To obtain information or seek a counselor in your area go to the AACC (American Association of Christian Counselors) website @  http://www.aacc.net

How are you at demonstrations of affection? How was affection show in the family in which you were raised? Do you think that displays of affection, not simply sex, are important to your mate? Talk to your spouse and assess how you are meeting each other’s love needs. Odds are you will find areas in which you can be more attentive.

©2014 Eric A. Disney, Marriage by Design

Ready to Reactivate Your Marriage? Click on the “About the Book” tab to learn more about Marriage by Design: The Keys to Create, Cultivate and Claim the Marriage You’ve Always Wanted

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Filed under Love, Marriage Defined, Sexual Abuse