Monthly Archives: November 2014

Lead From Character

Character Qualities

Interestingly, God does not lead from his position of authority, he leads from his character. Many of these qualities we are called to emulate as his creation. However, some of God’s character qualities are not passed down to his creation, including omnipresence (is everywhere), omniscience (all-knowing), and eternal (always existed and not bound by time).

Some other attributes, including wrath and jealousy, do not show that God loves us any less. The fact that he detests sin only serves to prove that he wants what is best for us. He knows what sin produces in his creation. As with any good father, just discipline is the consequence of a child’s bad behavior. Character attributes that we can experience include wisdom (Job 12:13), faithfulness, truth (Titus 1:2), mercy (Exodus 34:6), grace (Romans 3:23-24), patience (Psalm 103:8), peace (1 Corinthians 14:33), and righteousness (Deuteronomy 32:4) to name a few.

God offers us free will, the choice to follow his lead and live out these character qualities. As most of us do not respond well to dictates, God leads from the characteristics that show his love, grace, and mercy. As Christians we are called to share God and his Word in love, the way Jesus did. As husband and wife we are called to personify those same characteristics that God shows in his love for us. I would hope that the men can see further implications with regard to being the spiritual leader of the home.

How have you been measuring up? For men, as a spiritual leader, what are your “strong” points? What are your “weak” points? For all in positions of leadership, describe your “strong” and “weak” characteristices as well.  What reasons would any of you give for your “weak” areas? What prevents you from turning them into “strong” areas?  How can you remedy this problem?

©2014 Eric A. Disney, Marriage by Design

Ready to Reactivate Your Marriage? Click on the “About the Book” tab to learn more about Marriage by Design: The Keys to Create, Cultivate and Claim the Marriage You’ve Always Wanted

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Being Thankful – A Messy Business


As Thanksgiving rapidly approaches many of us contemplate the blessings we have received. For some it’s a time to remember that in spite of the economy, they are still employed. Other are in peak physical shape, grateful to be healthy and strong. Some stare into the faces of their sleeping children, thankful for the blessings their little ones have brought to their lives. It’s also a time to thank all your dear friends for being such an influence in your life, for speaking truth and for investing in you their love and concern. Perhaps your current relationship has so grown and enriched you that you could never consider being with another, your mate has flown you to the pinnacle of happiness. You have been blessed with great financial gain allowing you to do things that you use to only dream about. Others are so incredibly blessed that they have been approved for the home that they have always wanted. So many blessings!

What about the rest? What about the father of the family of four that has been laid off? What about that middle-aged woman who just yesterday received a cancer diagnosis? How about those couples who have been trying to have children for years but live out their disappointment in silent misery? Perhaps the year has been littered with the passing of friends and relatives, who will fill the holes left in their hearts? The neighbor’s wife has filed for divorce leaving him devastated. A kindly store owner is going through the throes of bankruptcy, about to lose everything that she has devoted her life to, what about her? What do they have to be thankful for?

Why do we, who have been so blessed, take that momentary pause to reflect on what has been bestowed on us? Why do we take the blessings for granted? Take that moment and change your focus. If you have been blessed, thank God for what He has done for you. Focus outward, let God use you to bless someone else. Yes, as a Christian, we know that God works through the good and the bad in our lives. So many of the hardships we endure are a consequence of the state of our fallen world. Some don’t “feel” God’s presence, for others He is a complete stranger.

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” -Romans 8:28

Don’t lecture those in strife, help them. You know people right now who are suffering and experiencing trials. Are you ready to get messy…and not just today? Are you willing to invest your giftings, your money, your time, your love in blessing the rest of God’s creation? Are you ready to demonstrate God’s love whether they know Him or not. You can be that example. Let others see the difference in you that only God can make. Live it, don’t just talk it! I challenge you, look around, can YOU give others a reason to be thankful? I trust that you will not have to look far for that answer.

Yes, be thankful, not just Thanksgiving day, everyday!

Blessings to all of you and your families and God bring you peace.

Eric A. Disney

©2014 Eric A. Disney, Marriage by Design

Ready to Reactivate Your Marriage? Click on the “About the Book” tab to learn more about Marriage by Design: The Keys to Create, Cultivate and Claim the Marriage You’ve Always Wanted.  It’s a great gift idea for those couple’s that are close to you.

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Your Child Is Not An Adult…Yet.


Too often parents approach their children as if they were at the same maturity level that they are. Your child is a child, so adjust your expectations of their behavior, reasoning ability, and emotional state. Remember, they should not be acting just like you. If your expectations of your children are unrealistically high you run the risk of doing considerable damage to their sense of self. They will feel defeated by the fact that they can’t attain the goals you set for them. Feelings of failure are sure to ensue. Be clear about your expectations for your children. If expectations are vague and unspecified you place the child in a lose-lose situation. As with adults, it is vital that children can benchmark success in their lives. If they don’t know what is expected it is unfair to punish them when they fail to reach the goal.

Where do your expectations of your children come from? Did your parent(s) have unrealistically high or unspoken expectations of you growing up? How does this affect you today? Need to make some adjustments?

©2014 Eric A. Disney, Marriage by Design

Ready to Reactivate Your Marriage? Click on the “About the Book” tab to learn more about Marriage by Design: The Keys to Create, Cultivate and Claim the Marriage You’ve Always Wanted

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Filed under Expectations, Parenting