Finding things to do together as a couple shows your spouse that you are interested and find value in the time spent together. This is a wonderful way to increase intimacy in your marriage. If you do not currently participate in activities together, begin to find like interests you can share. In some cases that may be a tall task. Perhaps you have difficulty finding things that interest you both. I had absolutely no desire to see the Meryl Streep film The Devil Wears Prada when it debuted. Mind you, I love movies, but this was not my idea of an evening’s entertainment. I chose not to operate in my feelings but to step out of the box and do something for my wife. When she asked, I bit the bullet. “Why sure, honey. I’d love to go see it.” We went out for dinner then off to the movie. I simply changed my mindset. I wasn’t going to see The Devil Wears Prada, I was taking the opportunity to spend some time with my wife. It all worked out just fine, and the movie wasn’t bad either.
Practicing selfless love is a great way to grow your relationship. Although the activities may be fun, it’s more important that you begin to view them as time you get to spend with your spouse. This will make the activities that are not so interesting to you personally just as enjoyable. You can alternate activities, taking turns picking what you will do. Husband, you agree to take in the new chick flick or some such activity, then next week the wife agrees to go to the NASCAR races. Remember, the activity is not as important as the time spent together.
Here’s a little exercise that might just stimulate some activities that you and your spouse can partake in together. Prepare a list of twenty-five activities you really enjoy (or might enjoy) and would love doing with your spouse. Again, these activities may be ones that you have never attempted but think they might be interesting, or simply things you already like to do. Remember, the goal is to use this list when we are having difficulty finding things to do together. Once you have both completed your list of activities, make a photocopy of it. Exchange lists with each other. Your mate will love it when you plan a day doing something they really enjoy, and this will show them how much you care for them. This will also eliminate the statement “I don’t know…what do you want to do?” when you begin to plan date nights. Now go out and have some fun!
©2016 Eric A. Disney, Marriage by Design
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