Your Child Is Not An Adult…Yet.

Parentification

Too often parents approach their children as if they were at the same maturity level that they are. Your child is a child, so adjust your expectations of their behavior, reasoning ability, and emotional state. Remember, they should not be acting just like you. If your expectations of your children are unrealistically high you run the risk of doing considerable damage to their sense of self. They will feel defeated by the fact that they can’t attain the goals you set for them. Feelings of failure are sure to ensue. Be clear about your expectations for your children. If expectations are vague and unspecified you place the child in a lose-lose situation. As with adults, it is vital that children can benchmark success in their lives. If they don’t know what is expected it is unfair to punish them when they fail to reach the goal.

Where do your expectations of your children come from? Did your parent(s) have unrealistically high or unspoken expectations of you growing up? How does this affect you today? Need to make some adjustments?

©2014 Eric A. Disney, Marriage by Design

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Filed under Expectations, Parenting

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