Do you want to try something novel in the bedroom? Make your romantic evening about your spouse!
Demonstrate selflessness in sex by participating in selfless nights. Start a new tradition and take turns being the giver and the recipient of the selflessness. It may go something like this. Husbands, every two weeks (or more often) set aside a night to do romantically for your wife what pleases her with no regard for your own gratification. If your wife enjoys romantic walks, kissing and snuggling on the couch, handholding, or anything else that is sexually or romantically pleasurable to her, then do it. That particular night is all about her! Wives, if your husband enjoys going to a nice dinner followed by a night of romantic sexual activity, then do it. That night is all about him!
Remember that we do not forego respect in our sexual requests of our spouse. The goal for these selfless nights is all about pleasing the other person. Being selfless pays off in dividends. As a couple, decide how often you will have these selfless nights. Incidentally, if you start with a selfless night and the spouse being honored is so touched by your display of selflessness that they would like to reward you sexually, don’t feel obligated to refuse! Often that is one of the dividends. You’ll thank me later!
Do you recognize your own selfishness with regards to your approach to sex? What are some things that you could do to demonstrate selflessness in your romantic relationship? Unsure of what actually arouses your spouse? Often it is not the same thing that turns you on. If your answer was “yes”, it’s time to have a discussion with them
©2014 Eric A. Disney, Marriage by Design
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