Pornography is a very dangerous practice to bring into your marriage for a variety of reasons. I will spend this and the subsequent post dissecting the destruction created when you place your own sexual desires above God’s will. It is important to remember that every decision we make has ramifications in our relationships, marriage and family. We will focus on seven consequences of pornography, whether you introduce it into the marriage or partake in it as your “secret sin” (Remembering that there are NO secrets from God). Let’s have a look at the first four, shall we.
First, it creates a fantasy problem. We introduce other people into our mind, heart, soul, and relationship. Now there is plenty of fodder to fantasize about people other than your spouse.
Second, there is the moral question of partaking in pornography. The actors/models who perform in these videos or photos are damaged themselves. Many struggle with insecurity and their own need for acceptance. To an overwhelming degree, they come from painful pasts. By supporting this industry, you encourage more of that behavior, as well as participate in the degradation of precious people who were created in the image of God—created for great things.
Third, ask yourself the question, “How would I feel if I found out that my son or daughter were in a porno magazine or video?” We can become so desensitized that we don’t even view these performers as human beings. They all have parents too.
Fourth, anything that you partake in has consequences. These consequences can pass down and influence the behavior of your children. Remember, if your children think you are okay with a certain behavior, odds are they will do it in excess.
You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments. -Exodus 20:5-6
In what ways do you feed your sexual sin? What exactly are you feeding? (insecurities, fear of intimacy, difficulty in communication, etc.) Are you already reaping the consequences of your behavior? If this is a “secret sin”, have you considered what might happen if you were exposed? In spite of the fear and consequences, how do you justify the behavior?
If this is a hindrance in your relationships I encourage you to take it to the Lord, from Him comes strength. There are counselors and groups that deal specifically with issues of sexual addiction. You don’t have to take the journey alone.
We will continue our exploration of sexual sin in my next post. Be Blessed!
©2014 Eric A. Disney, Marriage by Design
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